nUkiemOLe bi0-sKetch #12– 04 jUn 2021
Who nEEds coRonaviRus I’ve Louzy shouldeR-Replacement
My conceRns foRwaRding my long tRek from coloRadie to B.C. was this: Feminism oR matRiaRchal, composeR: Vangelis oR those hegemonyite-patRiaRchal: waRmongeRs slaughteRing. What is foR peace w opposite-gendeRing. Why? Who is Vangelis, if not a one-Name peRsona of Existentialism who is not a petty-bouRgeois: music-ComposeR? Was I looking for an indigenous-Mate—accent on the opposite-GendeR—neaRby his compositional-studio? oR a campout to get from not accomplishing having a vacation, along those cultuRal and physical-Male adumbRations of 2-weeks paid-Vacations? The scene was human-Rights for Indigenous-People on my 1977 stint of 3-months in noRtheRn: noRth-ameRicas. What could I say foR Relaxations and cultuRal-awaRenesses? Like, my geomoRphic-PhilosopheR amplifications were stRuctuRing! As in time-of-GeneRations of age? That those of us in 20’s, three-weeks paid in 30’s, 4-weeks paid in 40’s, five-Weeks paid in fifties and six-Weeks paid in 60’s. Why then was I looking into the noRthern-Rockies? Weld, like indigenous-Peoples often-times aRe moRosely moRe “matRiaRchal” as I had leaRned in 1977 hiking the bRooks Range and needing food, some lodging, beings of connote “localized-tRibalists” weRe sought as well as Rev. caRpenteR who had built a log-Cabin in a moistuRe-Zone, noRth of the mighty-Yukon river.
I mean ‘mighty’ as I could oNLY swim fRom bat to shoRe as those cuRrents and wateR temps ‘cold’ weRe not extRaneous. I did spend time inside a MonasteRy—coloRadie, wondeRful state/pRovince— some-time afteR meeting ‘the gal acRoss the bRidge’ along the ? riveR noRth and downstReam fRom ? who’s embodiment of female-Feminism was not what I wanted in heR being, because she, Molly was not a Feminist—but found myself questioning wheRe was the self-Self. As heR ole-Man was a whiskey-dRinkeR we shaRed a shot glass, each from time to time. Was my idea a vacation or tRanscendence? TheRe was a need of zen-Self, one that distance must pick-up as “space-time” or pResence (way back when) that had to be designated if I was to fulfill wheRe my visual-Allotments and physical-Connotes had been on woRld-tRavels i.e. what I cll tRavel-tRavails, that had to be meditated and not mesmeRized by thieves. Yet, my being was geomoRphics-philosopheR and had to be ‘stat-Pat’. Was I losing oNLY to supplicate “nucleaRism” foRe-instance became moRe pRonounced as yet long-distance dRiving needed my hiking. What was a family, if always, waRs-weRe-patRiaRchal?
Meanwhile why did she shun me was that she was not lesbian, noR did she answeR she was bi-Sexual, she justly did not like my sun-bathing naked 20-miles south, up-slope towaRd township fRisco! Yet, when I heaRd Vangelis’s “Conquest of Paradise” foR miles upstReam and downstReam I wondeRed whetheR he had accomplished my deep-Meditative state. Melancholia! Maybe bathos due the constant-Need of defending from nucleaRists as propaganda-State and as patRiarchal-BelligeRencies. Yet, patRiaRchs an be obsessive about the disRegaRds that chauvinism is toxic to the human: mental-Complexity of Ego-Id-Libido and alteR-ego, which, the latteR was an unknown quantifieR—when, back then 670 BCE gReek metamophosing, when Thessaloniki was no-longeR an appaRency of matRiaRchal-Ascendency. Was this eRa the space-Time whiling end of pRe-Ancients known or histoRical lost-AccultuRalizationings?
Weld, my space-time, as she would have loved to heaR this is a fantasy on my paRt. Molly, was shoRteR than I allotted my fRame (5’6”) and this musculaR-stRength should be foR a sex-paRtneR of metamoRphosing consistency of moRally, bio-ethically she stated. Shall I Remain allotted, RatheR I shall, due the fiasco of patRiaRchy being a belligeRence-Extent of do-do-Nothing that has men suppoRtive of Feminism, while not being homophiles, too! My RetuRning to Alaska, and hiking long distance i.e. hundReds of miles, stRengthened my capaciousness oR capacitance? That pRobity has been un-answeRed as my joint-Replacements, as tRansposited stRength-Needs as necessity-Physical. This is not Funk-aRtes a la William T. Wiley, my gRad school advisoR in the aRt dept @ UC Davis. I am a “fUnky-aRtes my designs” visual-aRtiste` as I am yet honing my visual-Acuity, noR my UniveRsalist-UnitaRian ministeR ReveRend Paul S. SawyeR, who was beyond a doubt an oldeR geneRation-Soul. He had befRiended, authoR and ‘the Blue Bus” owneR, Ken Kesey, and I needed a place to stay in my Van-1, but off cuRbsides of metRo-LOS—1967.
As much as I was wont not to have a “soul-mAte” as a challenge-Sexually, I wanted an opposite-gendeR w a bod and w bRains, becauZ. Does the electRomagnetism of the human-Body peRfoRm or accentuate w the opposite-GendeR is yet a metaphysical-MatteR. My affiRmed demeanoRs w Jeanne howaRd, I did keep as “the physical: numeRo-Uno” enchant-Example to find, in someone-OtheR: else-wised. I had gone from Eileen maRtin, I wanted, to Jeanne I needed. was that a chasm-to-Jump, like uR-238 to atomic-Bombs, but then-some, theRmo-nucleaRs? That “space-time” conundRum” Remains my opposite-gendeR sexual-InexpeRience, since. HoweveR, is that “oR because”? My tRavel-tRavails, had been coupling foR decades w my “geomoRphics-Philosophy” wheRein, Ecology and Ecosocialism gave me mental-oppRobRium beyond any but meditative diRe-stRaits. TheRe was the gal that I met in EuRope, 1986 fiRst in an ancient amphitheatRe, built by the Romans, cRoatia, who followed me to Scotland. I photogRaphed her, but ouR meeting should not-have-been foR me photoing-heR as she was Really w.o. a sleeping bag and a smile, too! Why should we not have had a sexual-gRatification, then and therein, cold Scottish Stone of partial-Castle?
Much lateR, 1996, I took the fiRst of 2-TouRs around noRth-ameRicas. FiRst, 1996, I thought, theRe were, about 50-women, wanted me to photogRaph, each of them. These tReks tuRned into Feminist-Hoaxes and sexual-ennui, how-to-dRess, how not to be a poRno-staR, but none in discussion w sexual-Unity and sexual-gRatifications. I took photos of dRessed women, who lateR a decade and moRe aRe now in cybeR-space on nudeliEs websites, topless, pusse`-pReviews, and tits-galoRe. Lovely, but wheRe was my shoulder to lean upon? TheiR bodies weRe tantalizing and weRe, odiously, stRength-deteRmined: as was possible. R-O-N-G. So, Canada and east-coast west-coast, I went again in 1998. Should have had that cRoatia gal, beside me, as she may have made suRe my meeting w Dr. Asaf Durakovic was pRetensively-aRcane, and that is tRanscendentalist.
Weld, I am home and yet I have not an aRtes-IndooRs: studio, to keep me from “those chem-tRails, outside” which aRe naRRowing ouR Life-spans, beyond the naRRow span the system of plutocRacy has alReady ascended. Peace foR all-of-Us: we-People, as we meRely yet, aRe needing health-medicaRe, becauZ